It seems like only yesterday I didn’t have a clue. I stood alone not knowing where to turn. Now suddenly I look around and everything looks new. I don’t know why, but I think I’m starting to learn. They call it understanding.-Bob Seger
As I go through the grieving process after losing my dad i have started to realize some things i never understood before. Everyone grieves differently. We all know the stages of grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. What we don’t always understand is that these stages don’t go in any specific order, they don’t look the same from person to person and there is no time table on length of time in each stage. It’s not like suddenly you are done, and the grief is over. It just doesn’t work that way!
The other night I went for a walk by myself. Getting out, and moving my body has helped me both physically and mentally as I have grieved my dads sudden death. I was walking along listening to Pandora radio on my iPhone, and Bob Seger came on. My dad loved Bob! As a kid I remember riding in his corvette, one of us kids on the hump in the middle, rocking out to Bob.
In fact, I remember when we surprised him in Kentucky for his 50th birthday. We all went to West Virginia to the dog track in his cousin’s van, playing Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band and singing the whole way.
The truth is there are things in life that no amount of time can fix. You simply learn to endure, to carry, to keep moving. The death of a parent, a child, a spouse are life changing events that no amount of time can fix. As I walked alone the other night, I allowed this music to take me back to all of these precious experiences I shared with my dad when he was living. The music poured over me, healing as I walked along.
I don’t think we ever get over these losses. We simply learn to live with them inside of us.