Does it say anything about my life that i have had the best summer since Mike died, and it’s while we are in the middle of a Pandemic? Sure.. the first summer i spent scattering his ashes, and going through his storage unit, and giving his things away all while barely functioning.
That summer was hard to compete with, but the next two summers spent downsizing and moving my home,and my business twice were lip smacking good times.
So bear in mind there really isn’t a lot of competition.
I started off pandemic life on my birthday mid March, when i got up and threw up in the shower. I spent the whole day on the couch, although i kept a list of everyone i have ever gone on a second date with, and when the three of them called or texted to wish me a Happy Birthday i busied myself checking their names off the list of people who didn’t message, and are now dead to me.
I don’t want to hear your excuses!
I didn’t have the virus, every couple of years i get sick, and this year it just happened to be the 24 hours of my birthday. I felt fine the next day, and could have went to dinner, but by then the restaurants were starting to close, and my daughter and I self quarantined just in case.
I’ve spent a lot of time with my small circle, golfing, going to the lake, and working too much. I havn’t dated much, have barely been inside a restaurant, and spend a lot of time eating ice cream, and watching Dateline. Kind of like i did before the pandemic, but now it’s socially acceptable.
The last couple of summers i worked a lot doing local festivals and events. I love seeing my clients, and the comraderie between the vendors, but it is so much work! It is all weekends, and long days, and usually really hot, sometimes rainy, and sometimes cold.I guess i didn’t realize how hard it was getting on my body, and on me to do these long weekends outdoors.
Because they have all been cancelled this summer, i have been free to spend my weekends however i want. Of course while wearing a mask, staying at least 6 ft apart, not being in groups bigger than 10.. You get the point.
I remember one time seeing Mike look out the window with an expression of sadness. When i asked him why he was so sad, he said something to the effect of not being able to believe that people could walk their dogs, and laugh just outside his window, all while he lay dying inside.
We all expect the world to stop, and feel all the feels when we do. The world doesn’t work that way, even in a pandemic. Sick, the uncertainty of what is going to happen, job loss, businesses closing…
All of these thing are happening, but i am reminded of one thing.
Life Goes On.