Every now and again, i will look at my sleep patterns, and although i know i am not getting enough sleep it is startling sometimes to see how little I am actually getting.
Mike started having severe nausea and vomiting on thursday night, and this is what my night looked like-
We decided to wait it out, because not much gets done on the weekend in a hospital, and by sunday he had eaten one jello cup, and still couldn’t keep anything down. In the meanwhile we had a weekend of lots of visits from our friends, and family. Mikes best man and his wife who are life long friends of his came down sunday from 3 hours away just to cut our grass, spend some time with us, and help us. His sister came to see us on Saturday from her home an hour and half away. I was able to go down into the basement, and work without worry while she sat in our bedroom with him.
He had periods of time both days where the nausea abated, usually when his stomach was empty.
I called the Dr Monday morning, and we made the decision to bring him into the hospital. Once we got to the ER, and into a room in the ER we knew it would be several hours for a room, because it always is.
I was sitting in the chair in the ER with my head in my hands. Suddenly this beautiful young woman came into the room, and began talking to us. She had remembered us from when we were in the ER just last week, and wanted to say hello. She said she had remembered my outfit from the last time we were in there, which made Mike smile. He always says everywhere we go, people ask about my purse, jewelry, and clothes.lol I do wear what I sell, just saying..
An hour later, she brought in this reclining chair for me to sit in. Apparently, there are only around 3 in the whole ER, and she had chased one down for me to get out of the hard chair I was sitting in. I was floored at this young womans kindness, and thoughtfulness. She didn’t have to bring me a comfy chair, her job was just to get some blood from Mike, and let us know the nurse would be in soon. She did that because she recognized I was sitting in the hard ER chair, she knew we would be in there for several hours, and she wanted to help.
Our friends, family, and people we have never even met have banded together to help, and I have been able to surrender to the help offered. It is hard for me, I am used to taking care of things myself, and It is just hard to acknowledge that we need more than what I can do right now.
The range of things that people have done for us are varied and wide reaching. My cousin brought us fresh veggies, and a meal from his garden a few weeks ago, a neighbor had our grass cut, my mom paid for my old cleaning team to come in and clean my house, I received a picture frame in the mail from a new friend I made online, a new friend I met on this blog sent Brooke and I a box of at least $1000 worth of make up when she knew I was struggling, and these are just the things off the top of my head.
Our world has gotten very small. Mike has been in the hospital off and on for three weeks. I am walking around in a daze of sadness, and grief. Your support has lifted me out of periods of deep sadness, has reminded me that there is a world outside of this hospital, and helped me to stay brave.